It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Girls should come with a carfax report
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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