I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize