I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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