Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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