Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
