I want to have your abortion
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you inspire me to be a worse person
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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