Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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