until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize