Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize