Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
