It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
