We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
