What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
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Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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