On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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