Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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