whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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