Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
