I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
