Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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