Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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