my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.