Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just threw up on my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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