his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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