dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
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