Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
