I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
