Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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