You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
