whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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