you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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