I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
