oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Let's paint friendship bongs
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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