I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i need some magic done to my vagina
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once