I wish i was in the wii world.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...