you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.