Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night

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  (917): you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night http://tfl.nu/accx
  Replies (8) Good night (1244) Bad night (6697)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus

  (317): View more from Indiana

  and who said we didn't have goals?

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  (219): my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus (317): and who said we didn't have goals? http://tfl.nu/piod
  Replies (12) Good night (4053) Bad night (966)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.

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  (601): A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first. http://tfl.nu/xh2t
  Replies (18) Good night (4601) Bad night (1332)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.

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  (201): It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name. http://tfl.nu/d1cf
  Replies (12) Good night (1274) Bad night (4589)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub

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  (978): For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub http://tfl.nu/5zqx
  Replies (5) Good night (4708) Bad night (829)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me

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  (978): I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me http://tfl.nu/0njw
  Replies (8) Good night (1086) Bad night (4378)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots

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  (905): Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots http://tfl.nu/aobh
  Replies (14) Good night (2892) Bad night (1821)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..

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  (306): the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day.. http://tfl.nu/nazl
  Replies (3) Good night (2581) Bad night (1130)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.

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  (786): you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat. http://tfl.nu/8z2x
  Replies (14) Good night (1267) Bad night (2204)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.

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  (563): he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on. http://tfl.nu/j2lo
  Replies (9) Good night (855) Bad night (1971)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum

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  (917): Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum http://tfl.nu/namq
  Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (314)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong

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  (306): He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong http://tfl.nu/gcyh
  Replies (4) Good night (682) Bad night (329)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Did you high five my face last night?

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Yes. Yes I did.

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  (573): Did you high five my face last night? (417): Yes. Yes I did. http://tfl.nu/h5yc
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (390)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.

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  (505): I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked. http://tfl.nu/byyl
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (314)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.

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  (203): the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law. http://tfl.nu/eqhh
  Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (71)

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