Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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