My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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