how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
