When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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