You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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