This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
