ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
