Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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