I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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