I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
