i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
