if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
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so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
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it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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