can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
