I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
