after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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