Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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