how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
