so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize