You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
