I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
