i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
