My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize