I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
