Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
