brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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