my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize